Thursday, July 30, 2009

Im never going to Sveedin

A poem on how Sveedin sucks

The Sweden House Lodge is a place to avoid
If you happen to be passing through Rockville Illinois
Upon our arrival there was no way to know
Just how bad this place would blow

Not even to our room we pass a guy in the hall
who was without question tripin balls
Orange Juice he claimed was what he be needin
What is wrong in this fake lodge from Sveedin

Upon entering our room “what is that smell?”
we should have know right there it was gonna be hell
My bro thought cleaners, myself I thought piss
Either way there was something amiss

The place was dated and kind of old,
Wondering if under the sheets lurked some kind of mold.
Well good news for us no mold was found
but the stains on the sheets, well they were brown
Perhaps not brown but more of a tan
The frightening result of a strange woman and man

Upon further inspection the place was a disaster
Stains on the toilet seat and no toilet paper
Not wanting to find anything else that was vile
We went and had excellent beers at the Carlyle

We drank our beers even played connect four
Soon it was time to head for the door
Back to the sveedish house to get some sleeps
there is no F'in way I'm sleeping on those sheets
So on top of the wool blanket I go
pulling half over myself like a giant burrito

Over my fears and settling in
That’s when the sirens started to begin
A door slams and the siren stops
Uh-oh Mr. Orange Juice is meeting the cops
Thinking that’s funny and drifting off to my slumber
What else could happen tomorrow I wonder

I forgot to mention upon check-in Dan was mad
from 6am to 7am there was no water to be had
We tried to understand how could this be
dont people get up and have to shower and pee
By morning water was not the only thing in doubt
During the night the power went out

Its a very good thing we don’t sleep in
Cause the fun of the morning was about to begin
The water was back but still no power
Andy went in to take a shower
Within a minute he came out with a bellow
He says “Dude the water is coming out is yellow!”
I jumped out of bed, this I couldn’t miss
Yep, it looked like the tub was filling with piss.
With pictures of proof taken it began to clear out
I took the fastest shower of my life without a doubt

All packed up and ready to be leavin
Ready to get out of the shitty lodge from Sveedin


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